Gone in a Minute – Corey Haim and Child Sexual Abuse

UPDATE: For those confusing the point of this post with the allegations across the internet about Haim being involved in a “massive drug ring”, let me confirm that the coroner’s report and Haim’s mother are both on record that he died because of pneumonia unrelated to the drugs in his system at the time of his death. This post is about the key moments in Haim’s life and the tragedy that many people ultimately participated in as he “fell from grace”. END UPDATE

Lucas/20th Century Fox

Whenever I sit down to write about a life lost on this blog, I think about Gay Prof’s comment that a blog is an inappropriate place to memorialize another human being. I’ve always maintained that it depends on the blog and its purpose, including whether or not it is overrun with comment trolls who will take even the most respectful post and turn it into a bashfest. I worry that any post on Corey Haim runs the risk of the latter no matter what type of space is used to say goodbye. And yet, I can’t let his loss go without comment precisely because I believe people will lose the plot in discussing him and what he did or did not give us.

This is not a post about Haim’s films which were often poignant in the 80s and throwaways in the 90s. Nor is it about the loss of a child actor with great promise who “pissed it away” with drugs. Instead, I want to talk about several critical moments in Haim’s life that I believe shaped who he became and how he died.

In the ill-fated and often demeaning reality show The Two Coreys, Corey Haim quickly degenerated into the butt of Corey Feldman’s new wife’s jokes. She acted as though he was some bastard child dragging Feldman down and encouraged Feldman to act the same. Often underneath her temper-tantrums, her insertions of herself into events meant to honor the work or friendship of the two Coreys, and her judgments about his life were her own insecurities about the bond that remained between her husband and his former co-star despite all the ways Haim was coming undone. Haim’s temper-tantrums and conflicts with her came from the same place: a desire to find and retain love in a sea of low self-esteem.

While she had no way of knowing the impact of her behavior on the shape of the show and subsequently on Corey Haim’s perception of himself and his friendship, Haim ultimately spelled it out for her during  therapy session on the show and again during a fight. In short, he claimed it was devastating having his one time best friend mock his life, his few accomplishments, and his attempts to get clean. He retaliated against both Feldmans in Canadian gossip magazines further eroding the once air tight friendship between the two Coreys. Both Coreys claimed victim status as a result, as the show drove a wedge between the two that was the last hold Haim had on life.


unattributed

In the same show, Corey Haim finally admitted that his drug addiction began in the midst of child sexual abuse. According to him, Feldman introduced him to the man who sexually molested him and gave him drugs to get through it. Haim never stopped self-medicating as the molestation continued and his attempts to avoid their abusers was met with resistance from Feldman. For Feldman’s part, he denied none of it; instead, he explained that he too was being molested at those events and that he had “remained friends with his abuser” so that he could not possibly have understood what Haim needed him to do.

The story of two young boys shining bright in Hollywood whose lives spiraled into drug addiction and a series of failed comebacks subsequently masks the core abuse issues in their lives. Just as the reality show depicted Haim as a joke who was never and could never be clean again (pun intended) it denied the thing that changed him forever. Worse, in wanting to depict his life as a success story, Feldman used the show to erase his own failings at Haim’s expense. The show once again placed the two boys in a relationship where their shared problems were shouldered by “the weaker” Corey.

dream a little dream/?

The reality is that Corey Haim was the younger and more inexperienced of the two. He looked up to Corey Feldman, who at the time had a thriving career as a child actor. The two quickly  bonded and became a shared household name in the early 80s. In Haim’s mind, their friendship and Feldman’s experience meant that Feldman should have been strong enough to watch over him. As a child, seemingly handed over to a predator, Haim had no way of understanding that his hero and best friend, was just another scared boy experiencing the same abuse “next door.” Nor could he understand how his urge to avoid abuse and report it could be so antithetical to Feldman’s coping strategies. Where one boy shrank in horror and desperately looked for help, the other internalized his abuse and searched for love and affirmation through his friend and abusers alike. They were children, left to fend for themselves. The need for a confident and comforter and the difference between how they survived solidified the bond between them for decades.

Even though they only discussed the abuse once in front of the cameras the dynamic between them spoke of it at every turn. People constantly questioned why Feldman, whose only claim to fame as an adult was as a failed preacher, a z rate rocker, and actor in minor and staring roles in a handful of B movies and reality tv, remained friends with Haim, who was universally known in Hollywood for his drug addled burn outs on and offset. Feldman never told them it was because he felt guilty for encouraging Haim’s self-medication and taking him to events with abusers; his guilt its own symptom of choices a child should ultimately not have been left to make. Everyone, including on the show, argued that Feldman was good for Haim. Feldman had helped resurrect Dream a Little Dream II and made sure Haim was still signed to the project despite another descent into drug addiction that left his character locked in a jail cell during most of the movie and doomed it to “straight to video”. Feldman also got Haim re-signed to Lost Boys II, an opportunity Haim blew in a flame so bright it was impossible not to see even when you looked away. Yet Haim constantly registered his fear about returning to those films and those glory days. He resisted Feldman’s insistence in a way that had to recall other forms of resistance in their childhood, and at one point Haim even said that Feldman “always forced him to do what he wanted” regardless of what Haim wanted or needed. Haim’s recasting of Feldman’s help as bullying can only be understood in the context of their abuse history.

two coreys promo poster/unattributed

The Two Coreys ended with a drug intervention that included their closest friends questioning whether Feldman had any reason to ever befriend Haim again. Worse, Feldman and his wife did the final voice over for the truncated season, mocking Haim and declaring that he was no longer their friend. Is it any wonder that when Feldman’s facade of being the better Corey was washed away in a contrived scene for their reality show where Haim outed their abuse history , that the show quickly degenerated into massive infighting, Feldman’s increased denials of their friendship, and Haim’s return to serious drug use?

Ultimately, you cannot talk about the life of one Corey without the other. Corey Haim is dead at 38 because he wrestled with demons neither Hollywood nor his best friend wanted him to really reveal. His inability to come to terms with being sexually molested, the silences surrounding it, and the years of drug related acting out that cost him everyone he loved, killed him. As children, neither Corey should have been put in situations where they were each others only defense against predators and where their only escape was drugs and each other.  In many ways, Corey Feldman needed Corey Haim to be weak in order to be strong and in many ways, Haim needed the same thing. As long as the two played their parts there was always someone to blame and someone to run to; there was always the chance to re-enact the worst moments of their lives, without actually speaking of it, and hope to finally get it right. The dynamic between them is shared by countless abused children, especially young boys whose abuse is often hidden.

If  Hollywood had not been so invested in their image and exploitation, they could have become spokespeople for abused children who encouraged young boys to seek help instead of becoming poster children for the anti-drug movement while they were on drugs themselves. And maybe, just maybe, being a somewhat accomplished painter would have sustained Haim if the lean years still came for him at the end of it all. Even it did not, Haim could have lived his life in classrooms and social service centers leading the way out of shame and silence for young male abuse survivors instead of at the bottom of a bottle of booze and pills.

So when the urge to mock him comes, remember who Corey Haim really was and what his death can still teach us.

—–

UPDATE: Corey Feldman is now saying he is foregoing Corey Haim’s intimate funeral with family and friends in order to plan a media friendly memorial instead.

UPDATE II: If you are here from IMDB, you can verify the information in this post with a simple google search, reading their interviews, & watching the interviews and reality show on youtube. All information in this post is verifiable, look it up. No one involved in writing this post claims to know either Haim or Feldman & this is made clear in the text and the comments. For those claiming Feldman was not abused or that he did not remain friends with one or more abusers, this information is common knowledge and here is some video corroborating it:

Feldman discussed his abuse publicly in several interviews, Haim was less forthcoming because of long held shame from being abused and told to keep quiet for so long. Haim has discussed his sense of guilt and his feelings that Feldman treated him like he was guilty and “needed to get over it” (a feeling many people who are abused have because of a stigma and struggle) on television and in interviews he did in Canada. Abuse denial is one of the reasons so many people keep silent and suffer, let’s not add to that just because it is easier than seeing people some of us grew up with as flawed, broken, or survivors.

63 thoughts on “Gone in a Minute – Corey Haim and Child Sexual Abuse

  1. Pingback: The Two Coreys - Keada

  2. Finally, someone speaking the truth(sexual abuse). Thank you! No one ever wants to talk about the abuse (of which he is blameless). Ultimately, he was a child in pain. May he be in a place where he no longer feels “bad” all the time.

  3. You took the words and thoughts right outta my mouth! You best said it when you explained how Corey F needed Corey H to be weak in order for him to be strong and vice versa…so true Corey F felt already so low that allowing Corey H to go thru same thing prob took the focus off his own pain, we love you Corey Haim

  4. I loved Corey Haim! I grew up watching those movies. I had to ask myself, why did he do drugs? Was there more to it than the hollywood star turn drug addict. And I found it on this website. His soul is in a much better place…may he be happy where ever he is.

  5. Very well said. You have given an accurate (albeit disbubing) analysis of the Coreys. Smart and thorough – I enjoyed the read and insight despite the disturbing subject matter and recent loss of Haim.

  6. If Corey Feldman feels any pain for the loss of his friend who could practically be like a brother to him… he should come out regardless of being blacklisted in Hollywood and name the pedophile(s) that molested them both. My heart aches for Corey Haim, may he rest in peace.
    Corey Feldman speak the truth.

    • I totally agree, Corey Feldman and others in Hollywood who are being molested and raped, male and female children, need to step up and name the pedophile(s). Corey F once alluded to on The Two Coreys that he deals with it because he wants a career, could it be children’s agents who are the Ps? If they keep quiet, we will never know. Some of those children are rich and famous now, all they have to do is start naming these people and putting them away… after all, there is no statute of limitations on this particular crime.

      • while I agree that talking can, and often does, protect others, I try not to judge the choices victims/survivors make to survive

  7. Thank you for such an honest and enlightening portrayal of an actor who really lost his way and it was in no way his fault.

    I remember seeing the episode of The Two Coreys and I was intrigued to hear their confessions but saddened that even after this, they never named their abusers, despite mentioning it on tv. I can believe that the abuse scarred them both for the rest of their lives and self-medicating was a much needed escape.

    Corey Feldman on a few occassions hinted at knowing the truth about Michael Jackson around the time of his allegations. Surely as someone who had been abused by someone else he should’ve come forward and told the truth.

    I think it’s sad that Feldman didn’t do more to help his friend but I understand that he was just as scared. What was shocking was him cashing in on Haim’s misfortune. I hope he realised that and made amends before Haim died.

    My heart goes out to Corey Haim and his family. I will always remember him as a talented young actor, who I adored as a teenager, who I shared similar experiences with and who I was fortunate enough to have met a few years ago. I hope you can now rest in peace Corey.

    • Actually, Corey Feldman made a statement on Larry King Live during the jackson trial that he had never been abused by Jackson nor would he ever accuse him for doing what had been done to him. He also testified on his behalf.

      Corey Haim, who is the one who died, was never part of Michael Jackson’s inner circle.

      I think the best thing we can all do for the dead, especially those who were encouraged to suppress or avoid the truth, is to be as truthful about what did happen to them as we can. Given the circumstances, we owe Haim nothing less.

  8. To be honest, I don’t think I’ve seen any of Corey Haim’s work – not even his reality show. However, I still marvel at people’s reluctance to address the potential cesspool of pedophilia within Hollywood. Tatum O’Neal claimed to have been molested twice – Ryan O’Neal claimed that it was a lie and that Tatum was an addict. Mackenzie Phillips said that her father sexually abused her – former stepmother Michelle Phillips said that it was a lie and that Mackenzie was a drug abuser. Could it be that unexplainable descent into drug abuse be a sign that sexual abuse has happened and that so-called responsible adults were unwilling to intervene to stop the sex abuse?

    No one cared about Haim’s abuse until the press speculated that Michael Jackson was the culprit. When it turned out that he wasn’t (Haim indicated that his assailant was in his 40s when he was 14 – MJ was 27 at the time and hadn’t met Haim yet), the press immediately dropped the story. It’s as if the press, the pedophiles, and the drug pushers are working in tandem with each other to keep this cycle going.

    And for the record, I don’t think Michael Jackson was a pedophile, but I do suspect that there are various members of the press and other HW types that are and are more than happy to use him as a diversion.

    • @piper – I think that was really the thrust of my post, that Hollywood is invested in covering up abuse and in some cases aiding and abetting it. It’s easier to call Haim a druggie loser than it is to ask how he got the drugs and what demons he thought drugs would either help him wrestle or escape.

      @EVERYONE – I don’t want this forum to degenerate into a discussion of Michael Jackson’s guilt or innocence. Now that it has been established that some ppl think he was Haim’s perpetrator and others have seen the documentation that he is not (ie both the fact Haim did not know MJ @ the time & that he was not part of MJ’s inner circle & both boys denied he was the abuser for either of them), I’d like to keep this discussion either focused on Haim and Feldman or what Haim’s tragic death illuminates in Hollywood. Again, let’s not lose Haim in the shuffle, I think he endured enough of that in life.

  9. I agree that is the most insightful article written about Corey Haim and Corey Feldman. I felt like I learned a lot about them after watching The Two Coreys. The one episode the sticks out in my mind is where both Coreys talk a little about being sexually abused as teens. Even after Haim’s death, people keep talking about his drug addition but not the abuse that may have stated him down that path. I do wish Feldman would come clean about who these abusers were. They are probably still out there doing this. Didn’t Haim say it happened when he was 15? What movie was he doing at that time?

    • It was in the early 90s, the same time he made a series of bad films and looked clearly intoxicated in many of them.

      I too was thinking about the fact that their abusers were still out there and the countless number of people they may have abused. From a general safety stand point, I think everyone should tell but I also know that telling is not always an option and that abusers engage in all kinds of coercion and manipulation to prevent survivors from ever telling. One thing that would have been hard for both boys is that by the time Feldman was getting therapy and coming to terms with his abuse, the statue of limitations in California for CSA had run out. And I think that goes back to Piper’s point, that Hollywood is notorious for abuse and yet it is located in a state that had strict limitations until 1999 and now has slightly less strict ones, while other states in this country have no statue because they understand that the psychological scars and social stigma can last much longer than a handful of years.

  10. My apologies…

    It wasn’t my intention to divert the discussion. It’s just irritating how HW seemed to devalue the impact of sexual abuse. And this practice makes me wonder, very seriously, whether there is an age restriction for the ‘casting couch’.

    At any rate, Haim’s ex-girlfriend is claiming that she knows the assailant and will take action against him. What kind of action – I have no clue. I just hope that she has the strength and tenacity to follow through on it. And if she’s successful, maybe others will follow suit, not for the promise of spotlight, but because it’s the right thing to do.

    • not to worry, just trying to keep over all discussion on point.

      I hadn’t heard the latest piece abt his ex-gf. It makes me sad that she couldn’t help him do this when he was alive; but again, we have no way of knowing what he felt he had the strength to do and what he did not. I do hope ultimately truth will out even tho the statue of limitations in CA has already passed. Maybe it will encourage others to name names or speak out.

  11. Really, really good post. I am a member of an online support forum for male survivors of sexual abuse and trauma. There is nothing about Corey Haim’s life that surprises me given my own experiences, and also having gotten to know the stories of many other guys that are working on recovery from CSA. This stuff kills you at your core and for many of us we stuffed away all the emotions and feelings inside, often with the help addictive substances and behaviors. A life of anxiety, depression and alienation is pretty common place. One thing that a lot of the guys express is that society really doesn’t allow men to talk about this stuff. Not being able to talk about it is often a sure death sentence, as it puts the completely not responsible for what happened male back into a position where they need to stuff away all the feelings again, as said before often with the help of addictive substances and behaviors.

    It is sad that this had to happen. It turns out I am less than three months age difference from Corey Haim and my own situation happened around 14 1/2. Like I said, there really isn’t anything that surprises me about this story other than the fact that we still allow a collective societal denial to shape a public opinion that keeps male sexual abuse victims silent, often overwhelmed by their burden and surviving via substance abuse and other addictions. Many times the abuse victim ends up withdrawing from life itself, and there is no one there to reach out a hand; men are not supposed to be weak so we let them drift away if it comes to that. I’m not saying we are not all responsible for our behaviors, but if you knew what it was like you would understand more. When one can openly speak up and talk about it, one can move toward recovery and healing. This cannot happen in silence.

    • thank you for sharing your story. I think everyone here is committed to supporting child sexual abuse survivors and the hope that Haim’s story will open a door way to ending silence instead of continuing to slam it shut.

  12. Pingback: Survivors News and Reviews » Blog Archive » Corey Haim CSA blog post

  13. Very well written article. I think you raise awareness on a very important issue, and you are right on the general point… people shouldn’t be so quick to simply dismiss Haim as a drug addict if they choose to mock his life.

    I’d like to make a few quick points though.

    First, you are technically correct that Feldman is older than Haim, but only by five months. And I don’t know exactly what you mean by “inexperienced”… is this referring to general life experience? And as for Feldman’s thriving career, Haim had been in the industry a good 4 years before he even met Feldman. He had worked with Liza Minnelli, Teri Garr, Charlie Sheen, Sally Field and other notables. He had essentially been the lead in both Lucas and Silver Bullet. Do you know for sure that he looked up to Feldman, or are you merely hypothesizing on this point? Also, in what subsequent interviews did Haim discuss the abuse? I don’t recall any of them, and during that period I was keeping very close tabs on media appearances by Haim.

    Also, you say that Feldman introduced Haim to the person that molested him…. this was never mentioned in Season 2 of The Two Coreys…. it could very well be true, but are you just assuming that it’s true? I don’t ever remember this being mentioned, only that Feldman also knew the guy and still hangs out with him.

    Also, Dream a Little Dream II was doomed to be straight to video regardless of Haim’s personal life. Just watch the trailer for it online to see that it never had a shot at being released to theaters… the entire premise is, hey put on a pair of goofy sunglasses and hilarity ensues, and Feldman can dance like Michael Jackson. The end.

    • as I say in the second update to this post, all of the information in it can be found by doing the research; if you doubt info in this post do your research and then you won’t have to take my word for it you can trust your own.

      As I say in the introduction to this post, this post is not about Haim’s career. So no , I am not negating nor ignorant of Haim’s considerable body of work nor Feldman’s critically acclaimed or commercial success as a child actor either. But for those reading this post who might be, it’s nice to have a little of it written out, so thanks for that.

  14. I must say this post made me queasy. Not in terms of what you were saying, but in terms of how much “informed consent” either Corey Haim or Corey Feldman truly had in terms of disclosing their experiences of victimization. I will confess I know very little of these two men but the media stories coming out regarding Haim’s drug abuse (etc) makes me wonder what sort of impact having his “stuff” thrown out for everyone to see had on his emotional well being.

    I hope that good can come of this, that survivors of sexualized violence can realise they are not alone, that they are not to blame, and to seek help as they choose/feel they need.

    • @hmmm – I’m not sure what you are talking abt here. Neither Feldman nor Haim named their abusers. I’ve approved your comment so as to make a point to everyone …

      @EVERYONE READING – As I’ve said, this forum needs to stay focused on Haim and since NO ONE but the men involved knows who the abuser is or is not, speculation abt it is inappropriate. Please stick to the facts available to us, if for no other reason than failing to do so is misappropriating someone’s death in order to further an agenda that has nothing to do with them. Haim got enough of that in life, don’t dishonor him in death.

      If you are interested in celebrity gossip, moving past the Haim discussion to discussions of other KNOWN abusers or abuse cases, etc. there are other forums for that.

      Also as substantive comments on this thread begin to wane it is likely I will close the thread to prevent trolls and “hit and run comments”. If you are confused about the guidelines for discussion on this blog, please click the link “questions about commenting” in the 1st right hand column shortly after my gravatar.

  15. Awesome write up. Every piece of information that should have been included was. It makes me feel a strong dislike for Feldman. RIP Corey Haim.

    • I admit that I am starting to feel really negative about Feldman now that he has refused to go to the funeral in order to throw a “media friendly” memorial but honestly, I really loved Feldman as a child star more so than Haim (whose movies I also liked quite a bit). Ultimately, only they know what happened, how many hurts each stacked against the other, and how each of them would want Haim’s death handled and I am trying, tho often failing, not to judge him.

  16. Thank you so much for writing this article. Until I read it I had no idea that Mr. Haim had a history of sexual abuse. I am shocked and saddened. Here in Canada, where Haim was born, there has been a fair bit of coverage of his death but, as you posted, it has portrayed him as a child star who lost his way in life due to drug addiction. Your article puts so much in perspective. My heart goes out to him.

    “Even it did not, Haim could have lived his life in classrooms and social service centers leading the way out of shame and silence for young male abuse survivors instead of at the bottom of a bottle of booze and pills.”

    His life circumstances once more prove the heart-breaking connection between child abuse and drug addiction that Gabor Mate writes about so poignantly in his book “In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts”. Dr. Mate writes that there is no such thing as a “war on drugs” – there is only a war on drug addicts, which really boils down to, in most cases, a war on survivors of child abuse. (As an aside, for anyone interested in finding out more I highly recommend the following lecture given by Dr. Mate:
    http://www.tvo.org/TVO/WebObjects/TVO.woa?videoid?24641820001)

    Prof Susuro is correct: Haim’s life could have been put to so much better use as a spokesperson for awareness of child abuse. His voice, added to those of the few brave souls trying to change public policy (and opinion), could have done so much good.

    How tragic that he never had anyone to effectively intervene on his behalf, and that instead of receiving help his vulnerability was taken advantage of as he was fed to the wolves of reality TV.

    Thank you Prof Susurro.

    God rest your soul, and you may you rest in peace Mr. Haim.

  17. A well-written deconstruction of Corey Haim. I wasn’t aware of the sexual abuse he suffered. So many kids in Hollywood become throw-aways after they’ve served their purpose, whatever that purpose was to begin with. Unless there is someone – a responsible adult – to show them that there is life after Hollywood once they’ve reached adulthood, since not too many child actors transition successfully to continue their careers as adult actors, they are almost always doomed.

  18. Wow, this is an excellently written piece. Many people in the world have written Corey Haim off as nothing but a weak, drug -addled loser when in reality there is more to his story: There is a method behind the madness. A few things to take away from this: 1)Parents- be ever present and involved with your children 2)Hollywood- protect and cherish your young: zero tolerance for abuse of any kind 3)silence=death.
    While I am not surprised at Corey’s recent passing, I am very much saddened by it. It’s terrible to see another human in so much pain. It’s too bad that the clock can’t be turned back and some changes made to how things were done in his life. I hope he is at peace, and maybe in his death other people who have been in similar situations can be saved.

  19. Corey haim and Feldman made my childhood all the more colourfull.. I was so infatuated with Haim that as soon as he dropped off the face of Hollywood i was worried ?? His alleged abuse has made my heart sad for him😦 He had so much going for him in so many ways.. One thing i have found difficult to digest is the fact that Feldman is apparantly still ”friends” with the abuser.. Were Haim and Feldman not mates ?? Were is the Bromance in this….

    R.I.P Corey Haim
    Will forever live on in my childhood memories

  20. first of all my english ist not so good, please do not think bad about that!

    i would like to thank you for this wounderful article. i was also grown up with licence to drive…and then…. i haven’t heard nothing about corey haim till his death.

    since this sad news i readed and watched everything from the last 2o years what i found about him and his live on the net. Ireally wanted to know what happend with him!

    I think similar as you. corey haim was a very shy guy, trusted to much in people and tried to forget the sexuell abusewith drugs. and then he wants to come back… he wanted to get the second chance with the reality tv show the two coreys. the first season maybe is a written script but the second one is the real life. corey haim screamed it out: he wants his life back! I belive that the childhood friendship between haim and feldman was truth. But when they where grown up it wasn’t friendship as well. Feldmen didn’t tried to help his “friend”. He just needed him for the show. When corey haim understand that…he was injured and angry and really tried to become back his life. in the second season first episodes you could see that corey haims healthy would be better and he tried to go on his way alone. i also think the therapie with the doctor was really good for corey haim, till the doctor tried him to understand that feldman is his friend and he just want to help him. At this time that was not the truth! and Corey haim was sad, inyured and angry about so many missunderstanding about him and his feelings… i think that was the beginning of his end. no one trust in him, no one trust that he could make it, he could be clean and work again as actor. and his earlier “best friend” also just used him. and the tragediy goes on when corey haims mother became ill with cancer…that was too much for corey.

    I am so sorry for him. but i hope now he is in peace. corey haim was a wounderful person with a big heart…. and i really think if he have had became his second chance in time and with around honest humans, he could have proven that he is a great actor!

    Rest in Peace Corey Ian Haim.

  21. Thank you so much for posting this, I feel that Corey did not get the respect that he deserved and finally people can see things from a different respective, I remember when watching the one epsiode when Corey mentioned about the sexual abuse and how Feldman stayed friends with him, the pain that Corey H showed, for me if one of my friends was getting abused and I knew who was doing it, I would have taken proper action and never associate myself with that person again, out of love and respect for my friend and other young adults. Thank you so much, May Corey rest in peace with the angels.

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  23. I apologise for my spelling in advance but I believe this needs to be said.

    I’m trully saddened by this and slightly disturbed. My question is …… whare were the parents of these children? Whare were they whall their children were left alone with people they didnt know to be open to sexual abuse? We blame Corey for doing drugs and yes that was his choice and it was not the best one, but if we are going to be placing blame we have to look at whare it all started… whare were the parents? They had to sign off to let their child act in these movies. They had to know their child was not home or with them. Whare were the parents to say “no my child will work then come home to me.” I just dont understand how this could happen if trully parents were involved and supervising. Hollywood as we all know is full of drugs and sex so what sane person would let their 14 year old 10 year olds out alone at night? Also keep in mind it wasnt just the Corys look at Drew Barrymore she wrote in her own book how she was drinking whall she was filming E.T i think she was 8 years old. These Children were exposed to far to much at sutch a young age. The part that breaks my heart is that this could have been prevented with proper supervision and in some cases the parent seeing a problem and getting counseling for their child even taking them out of the spotlight if need be. I know this is a strong opinion and it is in no way ment to insult or offend anyone, but rather make us all take a look at our selves and see maby we as parents as family members as friends maby we are missing something and maby we need to get more active in the people we love’s lives before it is too late and we loose them forever. My heart trully breaks that we lost some one that just needed some one to love him and show him he was never trully alone. Sad part is now that we are only focused on this loss we are missing all the others that still are with us and can be saved.

  24. As sad as I am for the incredibly sad and painful life and and the all to soon and preventable loss of Cory H, I am also saddened by what seems to be a passing of blame in some comments here. Cory F is in no way to blame for the horrors that Cory H endured . That blame is on the pedophile. Cory F did not use Cory H for cash threw the reality show. They both wanted to resurrect their careers and reconnect their friendship, both goals doomed from the start as neither man had over come the demons of their past fully. We need to keep the blame where it belongs if we want things to change for the better.

    I think that parents of child actors need to be educated about the dangers and warning signs that something has gone terribly wrong. We need to strengthen penalties for convicted pedophiles. We need all states to consider extending time limits for victims to come forward, since many only find the strength to speak out after reaching adulthood. Child actors should have some form of advocate while working to insure that the child is not cornered into a situation where abuse can happen. The only way to make the system change is to fight for that change. We need to enforce the reality that an abused child should not feel shame, the abuser is the one who is wrong. unfortunately, I have no idea how we would move forward to bring people together to make such changes.

  25. There had to have been more people than just the cowardly Feldman that knew who and what happened to Haim. Every person that worked with that movie is accountable! They’re more concerned with their career’s than the health and well being of a 14yr old boy. I hope they all suffer every day of their lives for their cowardice!!!

  26. I am not sure it would be fair to call Cory Feldman cowardly for not speaking up as he was as much a child as Cory H considering they where only 5 months apart in age, not to mention the fact that he was also being abused at the time aparantly. Instead, we should be putting the blame where it belongs. The adult who did this is the one to be blamed. every adult who new about it or suspected but did nothing is wrong. The people who make excuses for such a crime should be blamed. every person who blames the child victom or the children around the child victom should also consider them selfs to blame, for continuing the status quo of such behavior. Only when we start holding the adults in such situations accountable for they actions or inactions can things change.

    • I assumed that the people in this forum questioning Feldman are not victim-blaming but rather questioning some of his decisions as an adult. While I think we need to remember that everyone deals with their own abuse differently and that justice takes on many forms for survivors, partially because the “justice system” fails too often to represent them, if people want to express that frustration in a non-victim blaming way here they can. When, or if, it becomes about “why didn’t Feldman march to the police when it was happening, he sucks” then, I think you are right to question how society focuses on victim-survivor actions rather than perpetrators and what that means.

  27. What I meant with my previous comment was after Corey passed, I was wondering why Corey F. didn’t name the pedophile…so that he couldn’t continue to do this to other children. Looking back I realize it was a “heat of the moment” , distasteful comment in which I cannot take back, but I do apologize for. I’m sorry to have offended anyone on this website.

  28. First off I want to say how very well written this blog is. I can’t believe I only now found it, thanks to a friend, but you hit several key points. Also, like you said, most all of what you wrote about can be fact-checked.
    I do want to point out one inaccuracy though, I’m sorry, but Corey Haim never drank, he was allergic to alcohol. I know it’s not a BIG deal, but I am on a path of 100% truth when it comes to Corey. I’m sure it’s an oversight, but again, GREAT job with your wording! Also, Corey Feldman has several times, although not by name, stated who his abuser was. It was his personal assistant at the time.

    Thank you for caring enough to put the time needed to research & write this blog!

  29. Very good understanding article, I am currently in the fight for my life because of child abuse and all i can imagine is Corey Haim with the biggest most beautiful white wings (now that he’s in heaven) be at peace sweetheart.

  30. Is it just me or am I now seeing many more people want to know more about Corey Haim now that we know that it wasn’t an O.D. that killed him but an enlarged heart -pneumonia? All these tributes are popping up from these people who haven’t taken the time to reflect on a gorgeous boy/man before. Ye who hath little faith !

    • @Tamara I’m sorry but your comments confuse me. This post has been up since the day it was announced he died (see the post date) and never claimed he overdosed. If you want to call out people guilty of those things, go to their blogs, newspapers, or radio stations & talk to them directly.

  31. No, I would like to verify that I did not mean this blog ( which I have the utmost respect for, i visit this blog every few days) but I mean sites such as YouTube ( Not a good source I know!) I would like to apologise for the confusion i caused because when it comes to anything regarding Corey Haim believe me it’s all about respect!

      • I have just found this article today, after watching The Lost Boys last night and reflecting on the tragic death of Corey Haim. This is a very well-written, honest and heartbreaking article, well done.
        As a teenage girl in the 80s I was an obsessed fan of Corey Haim. I always believed that Corey Feldman needed Corey Haim than the other way around. I think that CH’s appeal and popularity overtook CF’s and I wondered if there was any kind of jealousy from CF and he preyed on CH’s trusting nature to convince him that they should stick together, therefore allowing CF to ride CH’s coat-tails. I think the absurd “Two Corey’s” monicor didn’t garner much respect for either of them. I think CH had such hude potential, he really was a natural talent and had a very deep emotional scope as an actor from such a young age. I think had he stayed on the right path he could have had the career of someone like Leonardo Di Caprio. I think Corey Feldman was detrimental to Corey Haim’s career and personal life but this is pure speculation and opinion, but from someone who watched their career progression and descent. Is it known whether their abuser is the same person? Why has CF not named and shamed this person? I wonder if it is someone who is famous and/or powerful and therefore will not name?
        Also, they had this ‘secret’significant number between them – 222 – which I notice is on CH’s tombstone. Does anyone know what this means?
        RIP Corey Ian Haim. You are loved and missed.
        Sorry for the long post

      • Hi Rachel, I am sorry to say I don’t know anything about the number 222. The discussion they had about their abusers on the Two Coreys would imply that the abusers were friends but not the same person unless they were abused by multiple people since Feldman indicated he was abused in a different room the first time Haim was abused. As for one leeching the career of the other, I think the reality show definitely tried to make it look the other way and I am sad that many people’s memories will only go as far as the recent behavior and not back to classics like Lucas. Based on those early films, you’re right to draw connections between him and DiCaprio.

        thanks for stopping in.

  32. Pingback: Thanks to you Bashir, nobody will ever see MJ perform again, because you killed him (by D.Edwards) « Vindicating Michael

  33. Glad i came across your blog and the info included. i saw Haim at a comic book convention a number of years ago where he was signing photos and i commented to a friend “Boy, has he let himself go.”
    Being a survivor of childhood sexual abuse myself i now feel sad for him and seeing him in a deteriorated state and not even guessing what could have brought him to it. But i know the high percentage of children abused. Wish i could have guessed.
    i’ve spent some time reading through the blog and the posts and ended up with tears welling.
    As well as i am doing, hearing the horrible stories of others still aches me terribly since i can relate.
    Such terrible monsters to cause children so much pain.

  34. Wow, I just stumbled across this blog. Amazing and very interesting analysis of their friendship and its’ dynamics. I did not think the Feldmans came across at all well in TTC and it’s an interesting comment you make about how their friendship changed after Haim discussed the abuse on camera. I did feel that Feldman was the one who had the competitive thing going on with Haim – I think it was borne out of insecurity, because basically at the start Haim was by far the better actor – think Lucas, Silver Bullet etc. It’s a shame his management didn’t map out his career better, as if he’d continued on that vein then i think he’d have been able to bridge the gap between child and adult actor.

    As to the abuse, I was so shocked on hearing this, but boy do I understand how he then became reliant on drugs to numb and block out the pain. I don’t get how people feel it was ok to bash him when he was alive – would they do that to any sexual abuse survivor? Haim stated that Feldman was the only one who knew the whole story of the abuse, so with that in mind, how could Haim get any real perspective on his experiences?

    I feel so bad for him that his life was such a struggle and his death came so young. It’s nearly 9 months and I’m still so sad about it all. He deserved much better.

    • it’s black ink on white paper. I’m not sure why that is hard, perhaps you need to adjust your browser or talk to your ISP provider.

  35. let us remember the date that marks a year anniversary of the passing of a bright light into the next life…March 10, 2010 is your day Cory Haim..RIP always

  36. I would love to see you talk more about this issue in the public. I think you would make a huge impact as you are right, people should’ve been helping them as boys but instead continued to kick them down.This is the first article I have read out of so ,so many that is so sensible and I feel and beleive you found the core.
    I think if corey haim knew you, he could’ve had a chance because you seem to be the only one really making sense. I feel empathy for the treatment corey haim got on the show by the so called counseller as she screamed at him alot.I think people like you is what corey would’ve needed as support.thankyou for bringing some things to light and opening my eyes even more.
    instead of people arguing about this happend and that happened all over these forums and posts,we should be saying where was the support and help they needed when they were just boys.They were let down.
    Gene

    • I do speak about child sexual abuse and work with both male and female survivors regularly. I’d like to believe that they had some support in their lives, but as you note, we didn’t see any on the show, or in Haim’s attempts to self-medicate, or much in this forum or elsewhere as his life became fodder for gawking, judging, and trying to address completely different issues. It is depressing

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