I am annoyed. Shocker, I know. But you see, the summer is essentially over for your dear professor and I realized that I did not see a single movie this summer I thought was interesting and very few I thought were even worth more than a mention on the blog. While I still hold out hope for Scott Pilgrim, mostly because I am desperate, I’d planned to write a post about how disappointing this summer has been. And then, I discovered “Nonskweeter” a blog whose movie reviews are even more snarky and disaffected than mine.
The omnipresent moral of Splice is that women shouldn’t do science. They’re all irrational, baby-crazy, bipolar shrews. No, really.
Splice doesn’t employ foreshadowing as much as a giant clown mallet with the words, “DUN DUN DUUUNNNNNNNN!” painted on it. I hate this movie. I want it to give me back that part of my soul that was lost when I watched … (read the rest here)
Even better, they address issues of race and gender, as you can see above and below:
Hi! I’m an upper middle class white woman who doesn’t like her husband. I’m going to let a bunch of cute people with accents change my life. Fix me, brown people! Your poverty & inability to escape your problems centers me.
What person with real ties to the real world can leave their friends and family, their bills, their job, and their responsibilities to meditate for hours and shriek at Brazillian men on a beach because, goshdarnit, they’re just so lovable and they don’t know how to handle it. (read the rest here)
I love these reviews. They make me almost want to go watch these horribly bad movies even though she confirmed everything about them that originally kept me away. Then again … no. But I will read Nonskweeter again and so should you.